you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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