we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
