the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
