btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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