WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
