Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
