He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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