i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
