His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm getting married
To pizza
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
