Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
