your thong is hanging out like whoa
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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