Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
