hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
