Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
try to milk me bitch
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
