yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
