Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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