I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
