you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
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WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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