Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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