Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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