Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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