Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i dont even know how to be here
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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