You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
