You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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