god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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