He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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