Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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