ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
you had me at cake vodka
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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