Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
