You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.