It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
this is an emotional support booty call