is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something