I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom