Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.