Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
