We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
