After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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