Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
