those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
