areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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