He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.