You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration