meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
