Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
