she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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