She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
