worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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