I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
