Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
