Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
