i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
