i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Come on in and take your pants off
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