oh god the rape fog is back!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize