I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
