Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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