When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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