You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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