Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize