we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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