please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
