hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
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halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.