I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Found the puke drawer
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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