At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
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Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck