Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf