u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
